Sunday, February 17, 2013


Today in church, part of the lesson was on faith and how to build or find it. My heart started pounding, I started shaking a bit (probably not visible, but I sure felt it), felt all warm, and before I knew it my hand was up. I kinda thought, what in the world? Get back down here, hand! But it was too late, I was wearing a bright red sweater and raising my hand. Who could miss that?   Some times when the Spirit wants me to talk, I find it very tough to resist.
After my stroke, it took me well over a year before I could ditch the wheelchair. It didn't just happen suddenly. At first, I had to work on just rolling over. Then there was getting the core strength to sit on my own. One therapist would sit behind me while another would gently (or not so gently) push me from side to side while I tried to maintain my position. Once I got that, I was far from walking! I remember getting on the treadmill, being put into a harness that was hooked to the ceiling, having one therapist on each leg and one on my hips, and just getting the feel of walking. There was strength training, assisted walking and work, work, work! I was both physically and emotionally exhausted every night. I would often complain to Robert, my mom, and my therapists that it was too hard and I would never be able to walk again. At these times everybody had such positive things to say and they were so supportive. Eventually, I started walking on my own (a bit awkwardly) and the hard work seemed worth it.
In Sunday School I likened this to my faith. It is something I have to work and fight for. At times I feel discouraged and that is when I need encouragement and a whole lot of love. It's very hard at times. But every time I exercise my faith, especially in what may seem small situations, my faith gets stronger and stronger and it will always be a part of me. In the end I hope to reach my goal of living with God and it will all seem worth it.
It's not as if I had thought of this before. The Spirit put it together for me and I just had to say it. I both love and hate when that happens!!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Be Mine

Today is Valentines day so let me start off by saying how much I LOVE my family!! They so totally rock! They are so accepting of one another and especially of me. They never let me take things too seriously and seem to always know when I need a laugh. And they tell me often how much they love me and that, "You're the best mom in the world."  Admittedly, they say this most often when there are cookies involved, but still.
I have heard from a couple of different sources that 90% of marriages don't make it after a brain injury. Sad. Understandable (I am the neediest person I know) but sad. But Robert is a saint. I can never repay what he has done for this family. I try to show him and tell him every day how much I love him. He makes me laugh, makes me truly happy, and even brings me breakfast in bed a lot. He often asks, "What do you need to make this day special?" I mean seriously, how sweet is that? I'm glad he is my forever Valentine.
Now, a totally different subject, but I so want to remember this.
The other day, Jain (5), said, "It's time for you to let go and let me dress myself. You need to let me grow up." Um, okay. A few minutes later she came in my room to ask if I could help her pick out clothes. After picking an outfit, she took one look in the mirror and pronounced, "It's not me."  ???????!!!!!!!
Today I had a cut on my ear and I guess it started bleeding. She, very gravely, said, "Mom, you have an owie.  If you turn into a zombie, I'm kicking you out." I have been warned.
Happy Valentines Day!