Monday, June 2, 2014


I cry. A lot. I have been told that is because of the stroke and it is just one of the many new things to get used to. I cry at random commercials (thanks cheerios) or when my kids do something I think is genius, or when I almost fall, or when I breathe. Yeah, it's often.
I also feel other things more easily.  If I am on the phone and Robert whispers his input, I get all flustered and can't pay attention to either party. I get very impatient especially with my kids and especially when I am tired. I get more anxious about things such as sporting events or my kids trying something new.
Taking an antidepressant helps but only some. The rest is up to me. I talk to myself a lot. "Take deep breaths. It isn't appropriate to burst into tears over this, or here" (school programs) or "Robert is just trying to help. Hold up the INDEX finger as a sign for him to wait" and "What is the absolute worst case scenario and does this really matter in the scheme of things?"
As for the impatience, I have to really watch my sleeping and eating. Even then it gets hard. In the middle of a sentence I will have to change my tone or wording. I remind myself that I only have ____ minutes until bedtime. Mine, not theirs. I take some mommy time outs. But even after all that I sometimes sigh or snap. My kids call this "Talking Tired" and at times they just say, "Mom, go to bed." This mostly reminds me to calm down and we all bust out laughing. Or I cry.

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