Friday, August 16, 2013

Self Reliant

Tommy had his first soccer practice of the season on Wednesday. He dressed himself and I think he looked very handsome, no?

I dropped him off and had Aleq walk him over to what we assumed was his team. In just a second they both came running back to the car and Tommy was visibly upset. Aleq said that they didn't know if it was the right team. I told them to ask and off they ran again, only to return a few seconds later. This time Tommy was crying, Aleq told me that they were both too afraid to ask.
I explained to them that I could not walk across the grass, even though I wanted to. I asked Aleq to please ask if it were the right team because Tommy was nervous and this was his first time with this team. They ran off again and I saw the coach shake his head and welcome Tommy, who now wore a big grin.
I couldn't help thinking that I should have been the one to walk him over and introduce him. He needed his mommy. This is a boy with about 20 stuffed animals still on his bed and fully believes that Santa Clause is able to make it to every child on Christmas Eve (We haven't told him the truth yet about time going slower on that one night of the year).
There are a lot of things I just can't do. My kids will have to be more self reliant than their friends. I both hate that and like it, depending on the moment. I hated it then. But right now I hear cold cereal being made without my help, and I like it.

The other night I picked up a load of laundry from my closet and started to carry it in to my laundry room. Now, Robert does not like me walking anywhere with both hands full, and he gave me the look. I told him that I was fine and that I'm tough.
"I know you are tough, that's not the problem." he told me.
But he could see that I was determined so instead of just taking the clothes out of my arms, he came up behind me, put his hands on my shoulders, and walked with me to the laundry room.
To most people this might not seem like a big deal, but it showed me how much he was worried about both my safety and my want of independence. It showed how much he loves me. Totally romantic.

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