My Robert

Today I had a dizzy morning. That happens from time to time but it is short lived usually just a sign that I  need more water. At times like this, I just lay down as getting up often leads to a drop in blood pressure and passing out. Oddly, this almost always happens when Robert is with me. I don't know if I'm just lazy with him around (I'm fanatical about getting enough water when it's just me and the kids) or if I'm blessed to be healthy when he is away. Probably both.
So this morning while I lay in bed, Robert took both boys to their soccer games, did the laundry, had the kids clean up the living room, mowed the lawn, made lunch and brought it to me in bed, and went to get milk at Sams. I'm probably missing a few things. Really?  This man is super human with a heart as big as a Texas dream.
Marrying him was the best thing I ever did!!  I knew from the minute I met him that he was special. Unfortunately so did any other girl he met. He and I were just friends for a couple of years.  I had others tell me to walk away and stop spending so much time with him, I resolved not to hang out with him and meet other guys, and even promised my dad I would never date him (he was stupid for not seeing the greatness my totally unbiassed dad saw). But something just kept me there. At the time we finally both figured things out, he had just ended a relationship and I was just starting one,  but finally, the timing was just right.
The road to finding him was a very difficult one for me. When I was 12, the dad of my friend began sexually abusing me. It went on for over a year, and left me emotionally scarred. Among MANY effects of the abuse was my perceptions about myself and my relationships with boys. If good guys did ask me out, I felt like I was somehow ruined and deceiptful by dating them so I would act wierd on dates or find some way to sabotage any chance we had together. I felt more comfortable dating boys who were more...well...questionable. As I got older, I was more mature but still felt unworthy.  I dated a couple of guys who were basically good, but I never felt that I deserved to be treated well and I didn't like myself so I would let guys try to make me into what they wanted and let them treat me with less respect than I deserved. It was only after I did the whole police and court thing, started therapy, and started the super long (lifelong?) process of healing that I was able to have healthy relationships with good guys.  After the dating experiences I should have had all along, I was ready when Robert came along.
I think it was good that he and I were only friends for so long. It gave us a chance to get to know one another without always putting our best foot forward, and because trust was a huge problem for me,  it helped me to get to trust gradually and fully.
Man am I glad I waited!! He was always so good to me but since the stroke he has taken such sweet care of me and always acts so happy to help me. He has quite literlly carried me through the  really horrible times when it would have been so much easier on him to just walk away. There are things about him that are so tender and loving that it brings tears to my good eye just thinking about them. I love my Robert and feel so blessed to have him with me forever.